Listen, this sex is going really well and all, better than expected really. By that I don't mean to say I thought you'd be a bad lay, but honestly, I'm a little drunk and wasn't feeling too confident until about five minutes in. Not to say that I have no self-confidence, but I'm a realist at heart; my mother says that's one of my best qualities. No, I'd just like to take a quick break to place an order to that Indian place downtown.

I'm going to be blunt, my fridge is empty, like totally empty, and I'm going to be starving after this. If you think about it, if we order now, the food will be here right after we finish. Actually, this may be one of the best ideas I've ever had; it's goddamn brilliant. I bet no one has ever thought of this before. There's probably a whole slew of people think about ordering food once they've ended their raunchy sexcapades, but then you have to sit around not eating for thirty to forty-five minutes, and that's always a bummer. This way here, we can order and go back to sexing it up, and if we're lucky, we'll forget we ordered food. When it gets here, we'll be all like, "Oh damn, we totally forgot we ordered food. What a lovely surprise." This crap has MENSA written all over it.

 I should probably call Dave too, you know, after I order all the food. He's going to think this idea is absolutely bonkers. You met Dave, right? He's a funny guy, and an idea like this is right up his alley. I'll even bet that he'll go right out to the bar, pick up a fine young thing, and try it himself. Always looking for the next big thing, Dave is. Always on the cutting edge.

 Oh, I see, you're going to get mad about this. That really defeats the purpose, because if you're sulking, we can't go back to having hot, sweaty sex once I'm off the phone. Really you're the one making this weird, not me. If you just sucked it up for a second, I could go back to blowing your mind after I order my Bhindi Masala, Prawn Vindaloo, and Lamb Samosa, but I see that you think my idea is stupid

You know what? If you're not down with this truly awesome idea, then I don't even want to do it. I'd rather have a willing partner; I'm not looking to commit take-out rape here, so why don't you just take your things and go, you filthy animal.

Actually, before you leave, can I borrow your phone? I didn't pay my bill for the past couple of months, and I'm really hankering some Indian.