I’m a 20 year old girl who lives at home rather than on campus. My Asian heritage has instilled a fear of driving in me, and as a result, I am forced to take public transport to university every day. You may share a similar fate as I, despite your lack of Asianness. Maybe you don’t have a car. Perhaps you’re dismayed by the ever increasing price of gas and ridiculously high price of parking permits. Whatever the situation, if you’ve found yourself in the same boat as me, it’s likely that you’ve had to encounter at least one of the following hardships during your daily journey to higher education.
- The walk to the train station:
Granted, it’s only a fifteen minute walk. But my gender prohibits me from wearing sensible shoes, since they rarely go with the rest of what I’m wearing. By the time I actually get to the train station, my feet are cracked and blistered. What’s more, my shoulder bag which is filled with twenty books I’ll never read makes the entire right side of my body feel like it’s had a run-in with Chris Brown. I’m going to college because I want to avoid strenuous physical activity, but at this stage I feel like a manual labourer. I know what you’re thinking: I should invest in a backpack. But backpacks rarely go with my outfits.
- Businessmen/women with an inflated sense of self-importance:
I’d like to think of myself as a polite person. I stand in line and when it’s time to enter the train, I do so without pushing. I even allow the elderly to take my place if need be. So it pisses me off when people believe they should have VIP treatment on the train simply because they’re suited up with a briefcase and smart phone. These people have placed themselves on a pedestal they do not deserve. They deem themselves above the rest of us train dwellers, when in reality they aren’t. Because if they were, they’d have their own parking spot at work and wouldn’t need to endure the public commute in the first place.
- That jerk who puts his backpack on the only empty seat:
It’s a crowded bus, and you manage to scope out one remaining seat vacancy. Success! Or maybe not. Because the guy next to your coveted spot has decided that his inanimate belongings should take priority over your comfort. If you ever find yourself in this predicament, I offer you these words of advice: sit on it. No, really. Sit on his belongings. Because whether you wind up receiving an apology or an onslaught of verbal abuse, the jerk will have learnt an important lesson for future bus rides. Bonus points if you manage to break something of his.
- People who refuse to leave your side:
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for sitting next to people when there’s no other option. I just can’t understand why some people don’t move once the majority of seats clear up. I mean, come on. If we’re the only two remaining in this carriage, our elbows should not still be touching.
- That one old lady who refuses to take up your offer and have a seat:
Now she’s constantly losing her balance and falling over, and I look like the jackass who won’t offer her my seat.
- The PDA couple:
Nothing says you’re in love like public fornication, right? Wrong. If I wanted to watch softcore porn on the bus, I’d put it back onto my iPod.
- People who walk up the ‘stand only’ side of the escalator:
The escalator is quite possibly my favourite invention ever, and I think no household should go without one. Movement without effort is a beautiful thing, yet some escalator abusers insist on ruining the experience by pressuring myself and others to follow their lead and walk. The way I see it, walking up an escalator shows utter disrespect towards both this amazing invention and lazy people. If you’re in that much of a hurry, just avoid the escalator altogether and run up the staircase. It’s right there.