Thaldin: Fellow warriors! A grave injustice has been committed this day!

Coworker: What is it this time, Eric?

Thaldin: As ye all know, within yonder breakroom fridge, there dwells a legendary sandwich, forged with the bread of truth and tempered with Hellman's Lite Mayo.

Coworker: We all know what a sandwich is, Eric.

Thaldin: BUT ALAS, whilst I was battling spreadsheets, mine lunch was pilfered.

Coworker: You could just send an email abou-

Thaldin: I SUSPECT WOOD SPRITES.