My attitude towards daylight savings time is the same as my attitude towards Panera’s new quail egg and used syringe soup: I’m just not buying it. Yeah, I guess it’s nice when it’s light out later. But at what cost? I have to get up at 2 A.M. to set my clock forward and adjust my sleep schedule? It’s not my fault Helios the sun god is shit at his job.

But fine. If we are going to inconvenience ourselves year after year to squeeze that extra bit of sunshine into our lives, lets at least do it right. That’s why I’m proposing my own day light savings plan. Instead of setting our clocks one our forward this Sunday, we set them forward only fifteen seconds. We do this every day until November 6, when we star setting the clocks back. From November 6 until March 11, we turn the clocks back 27 seconds each day. We still recoup our hour, but the transition is very smooth, and we get the most sunlight out of each day.