"105%: Issue One Hundred and Fifty" by 105%-O-Matic

I offered a pregnant woman a seat on the subway. She refused, but it was for the best. She was probably too big to sit on my lap anyway.

-Brian Murphy @CHMurph

I yelled "It's snowing!" right in the middle of algebra today I was so excited. Then they escorted me off the premises because I'm 25.

-Kevin Corrigan @KevinCorrigan

You'd think Republicans would approve some of Obama's proposals. At least the ones thought of with the white half of his brain

-Jeff Rosenberg @JeffRosie

Going bald at a young age can be tough, but you don't have to do it alone. I just found this really strong support group called "skinheads".

-Wiseguy Pictures @WiseguyPictures

BIDOOF! THERE IT IS

-Caldwell Tanner @Caldy

"The second you ripped his heart out was the moment you took hold of mine."

-Steve Etheridge @stetheridge

I got 99 problems and being sued for sexual harassment after calling a woman I work with a "bitch" is most of them.

-Andrew Bridgman @AndyBridgman

I have no self-control when it comes to food. If it's in front of me, I'm going to make sweet,sweet love to it.

-Rich Piepho

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