There's something to be said about specificity. Not sure what though.
I wonder what compelled Man to first settle in arctic climates. I bet it was the promise of their women eventually evolving into blondes.
Lately I've been trying to live every day like it's my last, at least that's my excuse for sneaking into the hospital and stealing that woman's morphine drip.
"Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and ROFL!" – LOLzymandias
Drug-dealer-turned-schizophrenic-housekeeper upon being handed a Swiffer
"You know you have to tell me if you're a mop, right?"I'm really in touch with myself. Especially at night.
I'd be a born again Christian, but I don't think I'd fit in my mom's uterus anymore. Also, I worship Satan.
I'm a robot. Need proof? I have never once typed a CAPTCHA correctly on the first try.
105%: Issue One Hundred and Sixty
I Superglued Her Door Shut
Angry Amazon Reviews of Adorable Dog Costumes
Alright, dudes, I'm Ready for 420
The Troll: Mars, Merriam's, and Bacon Dogs
Almost Reading
The Troll
Humor Us
TLDNR
Regret Everything
The Graphic Truth
CollegeHumor Interview
Twidiots
