Mumbling is a lot like talking in cursive.
When push comes to shove, you're definitely delivering the baby wrong.
I hate to be a pain in the ass, but I'm all out of lube.
When somebody asks me to turn the dishwasher on, I walk into the kitchen and take my pants off.
I take everything with a grain of salt. Not because I'm a skeptic, but because I have a sodium addiction.
I had nothing to do one day, so I decided to read the Bible. I guess you could call me a "bored again" Christian.
My boyfriend is such a grammar Nazi, I miss one period and he acts like my life is over.
I'm such a feminist that my girlfriend cums on MY tits.
105%: Issue One Hundred and Sixty
The 10 Most Stupidly Expensive Pieces of Junk on eBay
It's Me, Monday
If Congress Got Stuff Done Like Roommates
That's My Butt
Almost Reading
The Troll
Humor Us
TLDNR
Regret Everything
The Graphic Truth
CollegeHumor Interview
Twidiots
