The Morning After The Hills - "You have chosen..."

Last episode ended with Heidi going back to Spencer, a.k.a. the worst person ever, much to the chagrin of everyone else.  Subsequently, this episode deals with everyone talking about how awful a decision that is, and Heidi denying it the entire time.  Pretty much everyone just keeps arguing and it’s all very very awkward.

Since nothing really happened besides a huge drunken fight between Spencer and Lauren, the classic best friend v. boyfriend argument, I thought it would be worth mentioning a lot of the things that you probably didn’t notice unless you were watching the show and taking notes to write an update about it:

-Apparently Lauren and Heidi have a cat? When did this happen? Could we not get an episode where they somehow justify being able to take care of an animal even though they’re barely capable of taking care of themselves?

-Remember when MTV tried to convince the audience that Lauren’s nickname was “L.C.”?  Sigh, those were the days.

-How great was it when Brody and Lauren were talking about how Spencer was dicking over Heidi, and it’s completely obvious that Brody’s thinking: “Ok, I know I’m on TV and in front of her best friend, so I have to play it cool even though I think it’s totally bro-tastic that Spencer gave the same flowers he gave to Heidi to her best friend Audrina.” 

If you’re like me, then you’re probably wishing there was some way to have Brody use really obvious pickup lines to try and get you to make out with him.  Lucky for you, US Weekly is making dreams come true by offering the contest: “Win a Date with Brody Jenner”!  Now you can also have someone tell you that your weird straight smile is his favorite kind of smile!  SRSLY, WHO’S NOT SWOONING!

-Some great MTV synergy in the commercials: the fighting twins from 8th and Ocean were in an Acuvue ad, busting their chops as actresses, somehow seeming like they didn’t hate each other.

-I’m not the only person that thinks Spencer’s head looks like a brillo pad right?

-Some great basic cable synergy: Nick from Bravo’s Project Runway was teaching at Lauren’s school, no explanation as to why, but it was during a really great sad montage of Lauren’s long day.

The best moment of the show was when Heidi tells Lauren that “You’re (Lauren) the most important person in my life ever…” because otherwise there’s no way that Heidi would have an album coming out this year. 

Also, contrary to popular belief, Jason (Lauren’s old boyfriend) and Jodie Sweetin (TV’s favorite middle daughter Stephanie Tanner) are not dating, but they “just met once and are ‘just friends’”.  Steve > Jason, right?