Work Sucks, I Know: Issue #56

Have a lousy job? Friends, family, and coworkers alike tired of listening to you complain? Well, send your stories here and lift some of the burden off of your already crushed soul. No drug test required.

One day at work we were having a really slow day and for some reason my co-worker decided that since I was planning on studying medicine I wanted to see her eczema. I really didn’t.
M I

I got a summer job at a Greek restaurant while home from college. A lady came in one day and placed an order for a German salad. My friend explained that we only serve Greek salads that come with “lettuce, tomato, olives, peppers, and feta cheese.” She insisted that was not what she wanted and asked for a German salad. My friend countered by offering her a “different” salad, telling her the same ingredients in reverse order: “feta cheese, peppers, olives, tomato, and lettuce.” She ordered that one instead.
Zach R

I work as a receptionist at a car dealership. Usually, my job is fairly easy but last weekend I managed to rub the skin off both my middle fingers and get splinter hemorrhages under four of my fingernails. What was I doing? Filing. Eight solid hours of filing.
Tori Routledge

I used to work for the state fair as a parking attendant. The job isn’t bad, it may be extremely hot out but you look hot girls in skimpy clothes all day and people offer you free beer. There is just one problem the only type of sh***er on the grounds is a johnny on the spot. Well I had to sh*t really bad one day at work and wouldn’t you believe those a**holes I work with tipped me over in the sh***er. i couldn’t go home to change or nothing and my shift lasted for another six hours.
Schuyler Holsten

I work at a tattoo studio. One day a huge scary looking biker guy came into the shop asking about a tattoo. I’m used to these kind of guys they usually get their skull tattoos or a slutty woman with big tits tattooed on them. On this occasion however, this guy asked about a cover-up. He lifted up his sleeve and showed me a tiny white unicorn tattoo. I tried my hardest not to laugh and said “Yeah okay…we can cover this easy. How about a skull or some tribal…” and he said (dead serious) “Oh no. I still want a unicorn. I just want a BETTER unicorn.” To this day this guy is riding out there somewhere with a Unicorn half sleeve.
Anon Ymous

I work at a local pizza place. One night, this enormous lady comes up to the counter and asks for a refund on a mostly-eaten pizza. She complained it was “too greasy to eat.” I then proceeded to explain to her that a pizza with 2X pepperoni, sausage, and bacon is bound to be greasy.
KB Abq NM

Submit yours here!