Poor Bob Hoskins. While we'll all fondly remember his adorable alcoholism and devil may care attitude in toon noir film Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, we'll also forever remember him as chubsy wubsy Mario Mario in the Super Mario Bros. movie. And if there's one thing we gamers (and Bob Hoskins) can't stand, it's bad videogame movie adaptations.
What is it about videogame stories that Hollywood just can't get right? While novel adaptations will always have their "the book was so much better" crowd, the kindest words we can say about videogame films is typically, "Well the vomit didn't actually exit my mouth " So let me put your mind and stomach at ease. Here's a list of films that, while not fantastic, are at least tolerable; the best videogame movies you'll ever see. And keep in mind "best" is a relative term, because for every entry on this list, there's three Uwe Boll sh*t sandwiches.
Break out the popcorn, and let's get rolling.
7. Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
Jerry Bruckheimer is a pretty cool dude. He took a boring kids ride at Disney World that just about everyone had either willfully forgotten or just plain ignored and turned it into a pop culture phenomenon, complete with a captivated, yet ultimately ignorant, youthful audience. Oh, you want to be a pirate, do you? That's cute. Let's get you started with a routine rape and plundering of an unarmed fishing village, and then we'll set you adrift on the ocean where you can lose your teeth, sanity, and eventually life to scurvy. Cute, isn't it?
So it was nice of Bruckheimer to at least attempt to bring some life into the videogame to film adaptation market. Big-budget special effects, Alfred Molina, Ben Kingsley oh I'm sorry, Sir Ben Kingsley and Chesty Jake seem like a recipe for a movie that would leave no sour aftertaste. Ultimately though, that's all the movie was: a summer popcorn flick with all style and no substance. Still, it was a fun ride while it lasted. Now who wants to take me on in an ostrich race?


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