I Fought the Law: Issue #32

Ever have a funny/interesting/awesome run in with the law? Want to incriminate yourself on a worldwide-scale? Submit your stories here.

My best friend and I were too lazy to walk to the crosswalk, so we jaywalked. Naturally, a cop saw us, but he let us off with a warning. Apparently nothing says “good citizen” like carrying your recycling while wearing a blood donor T-shirt.
Abigail Wallace

My senior year in highschool I was jogging home from the gym around 12 pm. Ahead of me on my route home, I see a short lady walking her tiny dog. She can’t see me so I did the polite thing when you are coming up behind someone and yelled “On your right”, the side I wanted to pass her on, well before i got to her. She turns around, sees me running toward her, screams, and maces me. I fall to the ground and she continues to mace me until i am able to stagger to my feet and knock the can out of her hand…This is the point where the cop tackles me into the pavement. He drove by just late enough to see me disarm my attacker. So I am on the ground, all scraped up, with my eyes, nose, mouth and lungs all feeling like molten lava is flowing over them, getting cuffed in front of a crowd this lady’s screams have attracted. I get taken down to the police station (in my running clothes) and get questioned, and after a lot of back and forth, my story seems to check out compared to hers. I get to press charges against her, plus she gets a giant ticket for carrying illegal mace.

Marvin Waters

On Halloween a few years ago in High School my friends and I decided we would be jerks and throw water balloons at the teenagers trick or treating in our neighborhood while driving around with our shiny new provisional licenses. At one intersection my friend in the driver’s seat put his car in park, got out of the car, and threw a water balloon at another friend’s car waiting for the light ahead of us. He missed and instead hit a cop car who then proceeded to pull us over while our friends in the other car sped off. After recognizing our description from previous complaints from neighborhood parents we were required to pop the rest of our balloons. We were only cited for driving a passenger with a provisional license which never went through because the cop retired shortly after the incident and never turned the ticket in.
Waterballoon Punks TTMACD

So for my roommate’s birthday, we decided to have a night pool party at our apartment complex. To make it more interesting, we brought fire crackers, glo-sticks and a half of scotch. A little while later, two cops show up, saying that they received noise complaints. One of our friends, pretty tipsy at this point tells them that we are ‘just having a pool party for our buddy’s birthday’. The cop nods, and tells us that we look like we are having fun, and to have a good night. They left without a warning or telling us to keep it down.
A L

A few friends and I were driving around Boston late one night. We missed a turn and my friend Dex, who was driving, instead of going back, threw it into reverse and took the turn. An officer spotted us and pulled us over. At one point, one of the guys in the back asked, “why would anyone want to be a cop, anyway?” Without thinking, I blurted out, “if you’re not a cop, you’re Little People.” Only Dex got the reference, and started laughing so hard the cop made him get out and prove he wasn’t drunk or high.
Kaitlyn S

Re issue:31 of I Fought The Law

Bruce Dickinson is the singer for Iron Maiden. Steve Harris is the bassist.
Dan Kowal

Submit yours here!