I Fought the Law: Issue #33

Ever have a funny/interesting/awesome run in with the law? Want to incriminate yourself on a worldwide-scale? Submit your stories here.

Some friends were over the other day, doing some drinking things. Later into the night, two of them decide they want to go into the front yard and light-heartedly reenact Wrestlemania III. This didn’t go on long before campus police pulled up and got out. The female cop came up, asked for ID’s and asked what was going on. My friend, also my boss, simply replied, “We’re reenacting Wrestlemania III, I’m Hulk Hogan, and he’s Andre the Giant. Haven’t you ever seen Wrestlemania? I’m surprised you didn’t realize what was going on as you pulled up.” Everyone else was standing on the porch just laughing, and we could see the cop really struggling not to laugh herself. Then two other cars pull up to make sure everything was ok. At that point, the cop looked to her male compatriots and said, “Don’t worry, I was just stopping to watch Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant in Wrestlemania, there’s no problem here guys.” Then she starts laughing, and they all just turn around and drive off.
T E

My pledge brothers and I were on a road trip to go visit a different college for the weekend. We were having a good time drinking (we had a DD, of course) and screwing around in the car when a cop pulls us over. We all had our seatbelts off, were slightly intoxicated, and had copious amounts of alcohol in the car. The cop immediately asks our sober driver to immediately step out of the car and we all freak out. Our p-bro comes back about 10 minutes later with nothing but a warning despite his broken tail light, expired inspection sticker, 10 over speeding, and alcohol in the car, even though we were all underage. Why? Because the cop was a Longhorn fan and we were decked out in burnt orange. We took off down the road feeling like we just got away with murder. Well at least until we got pulled over by another cop about 15 minutes later. We all freaked out again but the cop immediately let us go when we showed him our warning paper. Lucky us.
Nick S

I went to college about two hours away from my parents’ house, so every few weeks I would drive over and spend the weekend with them. The highway I took went right through the middle of Native American territory, so for about two dozen miles the highway was under their jurisdiction. This particular tribe is well-known in my area for having the most dickish cops in just about the entire world. I was almost out of their stretch and decided to hike up the speed when what should come around the corner but one of their shit-brown cars. This is my first time, and I was nervous. The guy pulls me over and I, of course, ask, “Is there a problem, officer?” He responds sharply, “My problem? I don’t have a problem. What’s YOUR problem?” At the time I didn’t understand the hostility and it made me more jittery and way less attentive. We went through the motions, he gave me a ticket (which I beat, by the by) and I went on my merry way. It wasn’t until the CD I had in the car’s player looped back that I realized why the dude had been such a bitch: when he had pulled me over, the stereo was blaring “Indian Outlaw” by Tim McGraw.
Dean W

Already late for my biology class I pulled out of my parking lot without a seat belt on and traveled thirty yards before a cop going in the opposite direction grabbed the e-brake spun his cruiser around and gunned it up to me and flipped on the lights, sirens, the whole she-bang. Unnecessary? Yes. My remedy, offer that man a piece of gum and request he let me go. I’m at my biology class right now. Thanks Stride.
T Murphy

This year in January for Australia Day, my family had a BBQ. My Mum’s boyfriend set up the TV outside so he could watch the cricket. Hours later, it was dark, and we were drinking, and having a good time, when some of my family members heard a neighbour scream “SHUT THE F**K UP!” A while later a police officer showed up. He could see that we weren’t even being loud, & we didn’t even get a warning.
Jessy Manser-Wells

I was out riding my motorcycle with a couple of guys I just met. We found a little road around a lake and were doing about 90 in a 25. We only made a couple laps because we were afraid of getting pulled over. On our drive home a cop clocked me going 90 mph on an exit from one highway to another. I didn’t notice and proceeded to go around 105 for about a mile and half before seeing him. When I finally pulled over he asked why I was going so fast I told him if I didn’t make it back to campus by 7 the cafeteria would close and I wouldn’t get dinner. He gave me a ticket for 70 in a 60 and didn’t even mention the fact that I didn’t have insurance on me.
Steve cox

Submit yours here!