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Sam Axe

Dear Dorm Elevator, I just pissed all over you

by Sam Axe on

Okay, I admit it’s pretty funny when people are expecting you to reopen easily and you crush them with your mammoth door of death, but this time you’ve gone too far.


Remember that time I was really late for an exam and you decided you wanted to take me to the basement?

How about the time I really had to pee, but you decided we needed to stop on every floor along the way?

No? How about that time I was drunk and you decided to go from the ground to the basement, then stop back at the ground floor, then stop at the third and fourth floors, and then finally haul your ass up to the 6th floor?

You should remember that time, because that time was last night, and I pissed all over you. I decided that covering you in urine was the only way to show your evil electrical brain who’s boss. So keep that in mind when I step on, or you’ll be covered in more than just piss next time.
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Sam Axe

Sam Axe

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You Stink

At about 10pm, my roommate and I were in our normal habit of watching Adult Swim and playing random video games when all of a sudden we get a knock at our door. I go to open it and suddenly 2 guys burst in, with ninja wraps on their head, spray a lot of febreeze all over our stuff and run out leaving a note that says "You stink!". I was hurt until 5 minutes later... Read More » when a very apologetic ninja showed up and said that they got the wrong room. I don't know what I was hurt more over. Being called smelly or not being invited for revenge on the smelly Asian smokers next door.