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The first time I had sex with my boyfriend, and after we were both done, I jumped off him to open the window to cool off and the first thing he said was, 'That breeze is the best thing I've ever felt
I've got a bit of a unibrow, which I never really had a problem with, but my ex-girlfriend really hated it. She hated it so much that she would pin me down and pluck my eyebrows before I could get up for class. I have to admit though, it was kinda hot and I did look better afterwards
My totally normal girlfriend somehow became a little bit of a nerd when it comes to humor. Last time I dropped something and my girlfriend started clapping hands and moaning "Owned, Owned, Owned" like a seal. I'm freaked out.
To whoever gave my fiance the Dementors Kiss idea. Fuck.You.
My girlfriend once dreamed that I hit the dog with my car. She was mad at me all day. We don't even have a dog.
My girlfriend of two years broke up with me earlier this month because she couldn't trust me. She cheated on me a month into our relationship.
My girlfriend often likes to stick her fingers in my mouth and then proceed to tell me that i have something stuck in my teeth
. her fingers.
Whenever my ex-boyfriend sucked on my nipples, he would pretend to be a baby, even to the extent of calling me mommy, asking me to change his diaper, and drinking milk from a bottle. Thank god that's over.
My girlfriend's pet name for me is from the dragon language in Skyrim.
I used to date this guy who would throw a temper tantrum whenever I didn't want to rub his back.
I was once introduced as "the guy that I'm having sex with" to my ex-gf's older brother. It was awkward.
My boyfriend has taken to claiming my boob that's bigger than the other as his, and saying that when we have babies they can all have the smaller one. Good to know he'll put the children's needs first.
My girlfriend likes to play house music when we have sex just to see if I'm good at 'keeping the beat'
My boyfriend is surprisingly patient with my weirdness last month when I told him his penis looked like Sherlock Holmes, and I wanted to dress it up or maybe draw clothes on it he just said "Go ahead, if you want, but I'm not going to help".