"Your Fashion is Raping My Eyes" AKA "Nice Shirt, Douche"

As of late, I have noticed a disturbing new fashion trend; the polo shirt over another polo shirt look. I have dubbed this new trend The Polo-olo. This stupid looking new fad is only in the earliest stages of development, but you can be sure it’s set to spread like a rare Arcade Fire bootleg across New York’s hipster community. This trend was first spotted on one of those dickholes on MTV’s tightly scripted reality show “Laguna Beach”. The second sighting was just now on an intern at my work.  He looks like an ass.

Question:  Why would you wear TWO goddamn polo shirts? It’s like “Hmmm… I’m wearing a polo shirt and I have my collar turned up, but I feel like I need be more of an asshole. I feel like my douchefactor isn’t high enough. Oh, what can I do? Wait…. TWO POLO SHIRTS WITH THE COLLAR TURNED UP!!!“ Oh snaps!  Double snaps!!!

Despite my burning hatred for shitty fashion, I guess there are certain specific times when a Polo-olo is appropriate:

• You’re headed out to the mall to spend more of your parents money
• You want to look nice for your date raping that evening
• You’re just cruisin’ around in your white BMW convertible peeping babes
• You’re the lead rapper in a Kanye West tribute band called “Jesus Walks: A Tribute To Kanye West”
• You’re tired of not looking like a complete asshole
  
  

I’m going to be honest with you:  The Polo-olo worries me.  This trend is as bad/possibly worse than that fucking recockulous trend in the 80’s of wearing a pair of jogging shorts over your sweatpants. Jesus Christ. If I see someone with a polo-olo wearing a fucking trucker hat, I’m going to start bleeding out of my eyes and mouth.

Wait a second – bleeding out of your eyes and mouth!  Now that’s a fashion trend I’d like to see. Especially on Lindsay and Paris.