Frat parties: after eight months of their splendor we swear them off for eternity. As soon as freshman year ends and we move out of the dorms we promise never to return to their sweaty sleazy goodness. Who wants to wait in those long lines freezing to death in a mini skirt and tube top in the middle of winter? Who wants to be packed into a small room with sweaty men groping your ass at every turn? Who wants to listen to that awful rap music boasting illegitimate children and millions of dollars worth of bling blaring from oversized speakers?



Not me" or so I thought.



Look at me now: freezing to death in a pair of jeans and a button down in the middle of winter, waiting in line to get into a crowded room where older and sleazier men are trying to pinch my butt while grinding to awful rap music blaring from oversized speakers.



What's the difference?



I am now paying for all of these lovely amenities.



Why is it ok to take part in these activities at a bar and not at a frat party? What is the difference, really? And, think about it, which one really is better? Let the battle begin:



Frat: No Toilet Paper – some women have been forced to use items such as leaves and notebook paper while using the restroom.

Bar: Usually have toilet paper, but not always a working toilet. Some squatters have even had issues brushing up against pre-used TP piled high in clogged bowls.



Frat: Beds nearby. This is a lovely perk of fraternity houses, making it easy for their members (and their guests) to fill that void missing in their lives.

Bar: Beds a few blocks away, but corners and allies also do the trick. One perk of the necessary walk is the chance to sober up before heading to bed. No one wants to be dizzy while entertaining a guest.



Frat: Shady guys looking for one night stands.

Bar: Old men looking for one night stands.



Frat: Theme parties. Nothing like a Tennis Pros and Golf Hos party, or any reason to dress super slutty for that matter. Frats always keep things exciting.

Bar The only things spicing up the evening at a bar is the drink special of the evening.Sad but true: it is never acceptable to sport a toga/naughty school girl outfit to the bar.



Frat: Free (but gross) beer.

Bar: Not free (but semi quality) alcohol.



The facts are out there, you decide. As for me" I'm cheap. I'll see ya at AEPi



This update has been brought to you by HEY! Spring of Trivia, Japan's #1 fucked-up TV show- on Spike TV, Thursdays at 9pm. It's frickin' weird, trust me. Now, trust that these hotlinks are spectacular.