Things to Give Up for Lent

I am certainly not the most religious person, I actually have only been to chruch a few times in my life, and was denied baptism when I was born….but I can still give up a guilty pleasure for lent right? Well, so can you…Just pick something you can live without for 40 days, and get on your knees (hehe) and start praying…and you might want to do something else while you are down there…

1) Give up those dirty thoughts that creep into your head while you stare at your 24 year old TA’s boobs or package as she/he helps you with a chemistry experiment.

2) Give up lying to your roommate about where their poptarts are disappearing, and their tube socks and vaseline for that matter…buy your own, (usually both can be bought for a fair price at meijer)

3) Promise yourself to give up beer, resolve to drink more hard liquor.

4) Give up sexist jokes about women who should be cooking and males who have pencil dicks…seriously guys stick to the racist jokes about dirty mexicans.

5) Give up work. You always complain about it anyway.

6) Give up pleasuring yourself, become a frat or soroity house whore and make them do the work for you.

7) Give up being mean to your little siblings, invite them down for the weekend…get them trashed and send them home smelling like beer and weed (happy easter mom!)

8) Give up chocolate and sweets, everyone knows french fries and burgers taste better anyway.

9) Give up watching TV most good shows are on the internet.

10) Give up commenting on CH…APRIL FOOLS….