Driving at 4 A.M.

How trend will manifest: extremely early arrival to college classes to beat the

morning rush hour traffic.



Trucks

How trend will manifest: school parking lots packed with rigs.



Wife beating

How trend will manifest: Couples in college who follow trend will arrive at their

boyfriend/girlfriend's dorm drunk and belligerent and beat the hell out

of him/her because he/she's so in love and it's for his/her own good.



Tan on one-arm

How trend will manifest: sun tanning will be done with a wool lumberjack shirt over the entire body except the left arm.



Lesbianism

How trend will manifest: staunch conservative values, racism, homophobia, and love for sex with manly women.



Fat

How trend will manifest: no changes.


Affinity for bad country music

How trend will manifest: Family Values Tour and Vans Warped Tour will be stocked with Toby Keith, _______, and Garth Brooks tribute bands.



Shotguns

How trend will manifest: Professors whose teachings disagree with the message of Jesus Christ, the students' Lord and savior, will find "a hole right up in that there asshole in th' name o' Jesus."



Illegitimate children

How trend will manifest: At various stops between dorm and class, truckers will have tried to settle down and start a family, but when it doesn't work out, they take to the road between their dorm and class again.



Lack of dental care

How trend will manifest: Addiction to chewing tobacco, eating, and living a life on the road will leave molars with new "cool" look.



The movie Breakdown

How trend will manifest: Regularly picked-up hitchhikers will endure the driver telling a long story about a friend who went crazy and kidnapped tourists' wives, trying to pass off the movie Breakdown as a true story that happened to someone he knew.



Help or hatred, with no middle ground, towards Mexicans

How trend will manifest: Students will either load their semis (see above) with border-crossing Mexicans, or they will take their shotguns (see above) and take part in their own vigilante border control before heading to class.



Public showering houses

How trend will manifest: Students will insist on group showers at the school since they traveled there at 4 A.M., then slept until their class, to beat the traffic.



Abducting hitchhikers

How trend will manifest: Not very different from the obsession with the movie Breakdown" just a little more serious.



There's more Max at www.IWasOnTheMcEnroeShow.com Also, Eric has a new column out so check that out.