Fill in the Blank Questions

1. I would totally win that ——- contest, if I weren't ——-.
A. wet t-shirt contest . . such a dedicated nudist
B. spelling . . flarg
C. meditation . . so damn angry
D. unicorn riding . . hallucinating
E. three-legged race . . a squid

2. The best part about ——- is all the sexy ass ——-.
A. Daytona Beach . . NASCAR drivers
B. the 100 Acre Wood . . stuffed animals
C. developing early . . pedophiles
D. prison. . other prisoners
E. proctology . . [leave blank]

3. The typical ——- an average of ——- a day during Spring Break.
A. girl goes wild . . 3.2 times
B. bathroom attendant blocks . . 18 memories
C. R Kelly song is bumped . . 8,000,000,000 times
D. Romulan destroys . . six Federation Starships
E. Smurf makes . . 4 surprisingly racist comments

Text Based Questions

From: TONY
To: ASHLEE
Get at me tonight grl we gon be gettin tipsy and I know you can hang LMAO!

4. The word "tipsy" most nearly means
A. 25 to life
B. into a tiny car and driving in circles
C. hip replacement surgery
D. matching friendship bracelets
E. our GEDs

5. The abbreviation "LMAO" most likely stands for
A. Lucky My Aunt's Okay!
B. Let's Make-out. AyO!
C. you're Likely to Miss Another Orgasm!
D. I'm so excited by the prospect of intercourse that I've forgotten what words are!
E. Lars' Mom is All Over me!

6. In context, the phrase "Get at me" most likely means
A. Validate my life choices
B. Save me from this meathead shell and find the poet within
C. Travel back to 1992 and page me
D. Let's switch bodies
E. Lend me $30

Analogies

_7.) DAY : NIGHT :: _
A. Bud Light Lime : Purple Drank
B. A suspicious lack of tan lines : Suspiciously long bathroom lines
C. Sun : Strobe
D. Would you put this lotion my back? : Would you wipe that Red Bull off my friend?
E. Lost my suit in the ocean : Dropped my phone in the toilet

_8.) SPRING BREAK : SUMMER BREAK :: _
A. Lounging in Cabo : Working at Costco
B. Gettin' felt up in the club : Getting' felt up in your mom's hatchback
C. Meeting new people : Cyber-stalking the people you met during Spring Break
D. I really shouldn't have had that burger : I really shouldn't have had that baby
E. One reason to be a teacher : The other reason to be a teacher

_9.) BEACH DAY : ROAD TRIP :: _
A. Red Cups : Road Soda
B. Flirting with sexy girls : Flirting with deadly truckers
C. Hanging ten : Riding bitch
D. Cold bottles of lemonade : Warm bottles of car pee
E. Skinny dipping : Dude, put your clothes on in this fucking car