When I tried to put contacts in for the first time, it took me forever because I kept blinking. So I got help from the woman whose only job was to teach people the correct way to put in contacts. "No, no," she said, "you're not supposed to blink." Thanks I hadn't thought of that.
Are you one of those people who try to pull off sunglasses indoors? Sure, you completely forgot you were wearing them. For the last hour. In class.
I've discovered that walking around without my glasses is an excellent way to ignore people I don't want to talk to. A few days later, they tell me that they passed by me and I didn't say hi. "Oh!," I say, apologetically. "I must not have been wearing my glasses. And I hate you."
I find it funny when some people don't recognize me without my glasses. After graduation, I bet they'll all find cushy jobs at the Daily Planet.
You know what's really cool? Angst. You know what's even cooler? Thick black, non-prescription glasses to compliment your angst. You know what's the coolest? It's a tie between sarcasm and making fun of angsty people.
Like this column? Then buy the book!

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