When you have a week off in March, you go to Cancun. When you have all of June, July, and August off, you go to work. Makes perfect sense.



All my friends with summer jobs don't go out on weekdays so they can get a good amount of sleep. It's very important to be wide-awake while you sit there playing Snood and instant messaging other college friends who didn't go out the night before.



I have never and will never take a summer class. You know that first day in March or April where the weather starts getting really nice, and everybody hangs out outside because its just impossible to go to class? Make that class three hours a day for four days a week, raise the temperature ten degrees, have that day last two months, and then see how you feel.



When you're not doing much for the summer, I think having lunch is an excellent way to break up the day. You know, between not having lunch and not having lunch.



I was staying at a hotel, and housekeeping asked me if I needed them to change my towel. Yes, I've been here for one night, and I've used all 17 towels. I am Jo-Jo, the sweating boy. Please wrap me in absorbent terrycloth.



Like this column? Then buy the book!