"Tired and a pint short"
-Something struck me as odd the other day. I was looking at my door and I noticed that, for some reason, there's a three-inch gap between the bottom of the door and floor. I didn't think much about it then, but now it's costing me sleep. I keep worrying that some burglar is going to limbo in here and take my stuff.
-Not that I need help to lose sleep. I'm only creative at night when I'm just about to nod off. Whenever that happens, I have to get out of bed, walk to my computer, and write out whatever I thought of. Just as I start to nod off again, I get another idea. If insomnia ever wants to sponsor a writer, I call dibs.
-It doesn't help to have a roommate either. A week ago, his alarm clock goes off at seven in the morning. Seven! I understand that this sort of thing is bound to happen when you share a room, but then he just laid there and pretended to sleep for five minutes like it wasn't his. You aren't the guy whose cell phone rings in a class with a hundred people. You're in the police line-up all by yourself. I know it's you. So turn that damn thing off!
-He didn't turn it off, by the way. I was forced to grab a shoe off the floor and throw it at him to make him move. Sure, it was a little mean, but for waking me up as early as he did, he should be thanking his lucky stars the shoe didn't hit him in the ass and that it didn't contain my foot.
-But you know why I really can't sleep? My bed. I understand that Penn State has costs to look out for. I'm not really looking for a lot in my dorm room bed. I have to draw the line somewhere, though. The other day I tripped while I was walking and fell on the sidewalk. And as I lay on broken glass and acorns, I couldn't help but think how much more comfortable it was than my bed
-I was bored out of my mind one morning a week ago. I had no friends around, no e-mail to respond to, no classes, and I didn't feel like watching TV. I ended up wasting the time by donating blood. So remember the important lesson. Boredom saves lives.
-Before I gave blood, I was listening to some of the people outside when someone asked, "What's the minimum amount they can take?" That person is in
for QUITE a surprise.
-When I donate blood, it's a lot like scratching off a lottery ticket. People are always telling me, "With every donation, you can save UP TO three people!" Though, it's rarely a good idea to play more than once to increase your odds.
-A day after I gave blood, I saw a sign for the blood drive in the middle of the street. At the bottom was very small writing. So, as I stopped and knelt down to read it, a bus almost splattered me across the pavement! A little shaken, I walked away wondering if the sign was a prank or just the best idea for getting blood ever.