Ah, College

"I came. I saw. I maintained my B- average."



Being home for summer break after a full year at college is hard to get used to. I just want to thank all the people here trying to take my money since I got home. You've made the transition so much easier for me. It's nice to know that someone will always be trying to rob me blind, even if my University can't.



-Near the end of this semester, Penn State put out bins to donate clothing and food to the less fortunate. Less fortunate than college students? My God. What happened to those people?"



-Once again, a half dozen of my friends came to my room the last week to complain about the grave injustice of having finals. Yeah, it must really suck to be the first person in history to ever have to take a final. How unlucky.



-Though, I'm kind of confused about why people come to me. My say in school policy is very limited. You must have mistook the "501" room number on my door for the words "Head Dean of Penn State University."



-I had three finals in one class, each focusing on a third of the material we learned all year. That's not fair to be taunted by two fake "finals". It's like a doctor talking to a cancer patient and saying, "That's the last surgery we have to do. Oh, and then the two more after it."



-I like to think I had a fairly productive year in college. I learned quite a bit. I just wish any of that knowledge had stayed with me more than fifteen minutes after my last final.



-Moving out of your dorm is always kind of weird. No matter what, you always leave with a lot more or less than you first brought. Einstein said matter can't be created or destroyed. Obviously, the guy never went to college.



-Once you're back home, you think of a million things you forgot to do. For instance, I forgot to have my RA do a final check on my room. But that's okay. It would have just been awkward anyway, since I forgot to introduce myself on move-in day.



-To conclude, I want to say that I hope everyone had a fun, safe, and law-abiding year. And for those of you who were at college, I hope you're at least one for three.