Ah, College

"Hobo for the Holidays II"



As a special gift for everyone, I'm writing this second holiday issue. And in return, I expect all of you to ignore the fact that this intro joke has no punchline and just laugh anyway. Actually, that was kind of a punchline. Now you all owe me a dirt bike.



-Some people get on my back for only writing about Christmas and not the other holidays. I can't talk about the other holidays,because my lack of understanding in their rich traditions would cheapen any jokes I made. Also, I always put too many n's or k's in "Hanakkuh."



-A gift I'm looking forward to next year is for my extended family to remember what my major is. Because if I get asked one more time "how that accounting thing is going," I'm going to flip out.



-Everyone keeps telling me to cherish vacation time, especially near the end, when all the days start running together. I've never noticed that days run together. Though, my late afternoons have had a habit of doing that.



-I am completely opposed to stupid quotes in columns, but I finally heard a good one. I was talking to one of my friends from school on the phone and wished him a happy new year. After a pause, he asked, "You're a Mormon. Do you even celebrate New Year's?"



To answer the question, no, we don't. For us, it has perpetually been 1869.



-New Year's parties are fine, but families don't need to have them if there was already a Christmas party. A lot of stuff can happen to talk about in a year. Much, much less can happen in five days.



-No matter how many times I'm disappointed, every time I celebrate New Year's with my parents, why do I always stupidly scan the room at midnight for a girl to kiss?



-As is columnist tradition, I thought I would include a New Year's resolution in this column. I promise that, next year and all years henceforth, I will stop playing Final Fantasy X-2 for ten minutes and send in my Christmas issues within a week of the actual holiday.



Unless it's a good part…