-The first semester at college in the dorms is crazy. There's so much

going on and so many rules to start breaking, that at my school you get

written up every week or so. But by the second semester you start

realizing that you will get kicked out of the dorms if you get anymore.

It's these people that I love to watch avoid getting caught. They are

the ones that will go to any extent to avoid an RA. I was recently in my

friend's room and we were drinking and the RA knocked and he was trying

to hide all the beer and then she threatened to use her master key to

open the door. So he stands by the door undoing his pants saying "I'm

naked. Leave." Ready to drop his pants if the RA walked in. I think

people like that deserve not to get written up.



-I love something else about these people. I love the promises they make

that they will do at the end of the year. Although I'm 100% positive that

none of it will happen. Start a food fight in the DC, set loose a viper into

the RA's room, release a swarm of locusts on the 3rd floor, that kind of stuff. I

don't even know these guys but I know it won't happen based on high

school. Remember the guys in high school that would say "on the last day

of school I'm going to.." Did it ever happen? No.



-The squirrels at Sac State are literally insane. I think that they

honestly have to be the stupidest animals. ever. The only reason that the

squirrels at my school live is to eat. You would think that they are all

dying, but they aren't because they get fed every minute. They will

chase you.jump at you, or just give you that really creepy squirrel

look; you know the one I'm talking about? The one that makes you think

"even though I'm ten times bigger than this thing, it's really kind of

scaring me."



-The male squirrels seem to sometimes suffer from much more

than hunger, they get very sexually frustrated apparently because I

witnessed two male squirrels going at it. And I know you may be saying

to yourself, "Ok squirreloligist, how do you know they were both males?

Did you learn that in squirrel 101?" Because they would switch who was

the "giver" and who was the "receiver" every 20 seconds until they

finished. Most disgusting yet at the same time intriguing thingg I've

seen all year.



-I don't know if it has been scientifically proven, but bananas are crack

to squirrels. I can toss a part of my sandwich to a squirrel and it will
wait until I leave to eat it. But if I toss a banana to one it will leap

up and try to catch it midair and then sprint up a tree to the highest

branch and eat it as fast as it can. Doesn't matter how much of the

banana you throw, they will find a way to take it up the tree.



-I'm sure everyone in their life has seen two squirrels chasing each

other. And it seems like it's just a playful little game of tag. Right? Wrong.

That game is apparently called, "I'm going to kill you, you bastard squirrel."

Because I finally saw a squirrel catch another one, and let me tell you,

I now realize why most squirrels at my school are missing half a back.

They battle.on just two feet.with their claw-like hands. I urge each and

one of you to witness this before you die; it's a marvel to the modern world.



-My friend Nick has personally noted several "classic dorm moments" and

I want to share one of them. My buddies Brian and Michelle were kind of

into each other the first week of the dorms. The third or fourth night

we were here we see him making out with her in the hallway; she then

opens the door and pulls him inside. Then he leans his head outside and

up at the nametag above her door before going back in.