Whoever is Driving That Car with a Bush 2004 Bumper Sticker
Pros:
– Politically confident
– A regular American, could help Mitt's 1% image
– Aware of the issues enough to get a free bumper sticker somewhere

Cons:
– Ties with the Bush era would almost definitely hurt more than help
– No idea who it is
– PT Cruiser

A dog
Pros:
– Would put the Romney animal cruelty accusations to rest
– Cute as a button
– Non-elitist

Cons:
– Volatile poop predictability/appropriateness
– No sweat glands
– Would bark at Bo, make things awkward

A bag of money
Pros:
– Easily accessible for Romney camp
– Won't complain
– Americans would want it

Cons:
– Would not help Mitt Romney's wealth-related image problems
– Isn't alive or a person
– If the campaign needed to spend it, then it wouldn't be there anymore

Hummus
Pros:
– Appeals to both the rich and the middle class
– Has protein
– Isn't salsa

Cons:
– Can go bad
– Also isn't a person
– Would be weird at the VP debate

No one
Pros:
– Would be interesting, game changing move
– Better than most other possible choices
– Would save everyone time

Cons:
– Entirely unpractical
– Political suicide/probably not even legally viable
– Biden wouldn't get a friend :-(