Guy Who Skipped Jury Duty Has to Carry Sign Admitting It
You'd think anything that happens in Indiana would be interesting, but one 22 year old skipped out on jury duty because he apparently had something better to do. That's when America stepped in in the form of embarrassing punishment. A judge ordered the skipper to stand outside the courthouse waving a sign that proclaimed his crime, apparently the second time this judge has handed down this punishment. Compared to a tedious day full of waiting where you might possibly have to stay in court listening to strangers bicker, his punishment seems totally
worth it, actually.
Guy Sentenced to Read and Write Book Reports
Otis Mobley probably thought he was on the fast track easy street once he'd had the idea to sell a grenade launcher, because why isn't that a great idea? Sadly for him, Oakland's finest were on the scene faster than you can say "idiot." Not one to be overcome with things as trivial as "common sense" or "logic" the judge dismissed the idea of jail time for Mobley and instead assigned him a reading list of books, and demanded he write book reports. On the off-chance one of those books is "Selling Grenade Launchers for Dummies", we can all look forward to the next time this wacky judge orders Mobley to do something weird.
Rap Fan Has to Listen to Classical Music
All Andrew Vactor wanted to do was listen to really, really loud rap music. In the middle of the night. In a nice neighborhood. With his car windows down. That's pretty ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as his sentence, a $150 fine that could be significantly reduced if he listened to 20 hours of classical music. Vactor declined, probably because he didn't trust himself not to blast it at sleeping children once again.
Domestic Abuser Sentenced to Do Yoga
Domestic Abuse is horrible and serious, but that didn't stop one Texas judge from giving the instigator of one particular case a year of yoga classes tacked on to his probation. Let's hope that doesn't set a precedent, because if people find out you can get yoga for free just by knocking someone around, no-one will be safe.
Poachers Have to Spend Hunting Season Each Year in Jail
Nothing says father/son bonding than going out into the wild to shoot at things. But when you and your son could be personally responsible for wiping out the local deer population, it might be time to take a hard look at yourselves and reevaluate. The Donoho family didn't, but luckily they get pulled in when they were trying to steal identities just to get fake hunting licenses. Yes, they could have opened credit lines and stolen money, but they just wanted hunting licenses. The judge sentenced them to go to prison for the duration of hunting season every year for four years, which sounds good on paper. But doesn't that make jail just sort of a sleep-away camp?
Judge Makes Fighting Couple go to Red Lobster
Spouses beating each other is completely unacceptable. When a man has his wife in a choke hold with a fist raised after they start fighting when he forgot her birthday, wellthen, he'll have to take her bowling and treat her to dinner at Red Lobster. Wait, what? That's the ruling issued down by a judge in Florida, who seems to think that cheddar biscuits can mend a couple that was literally inches from killing each other. Let's hope there's something calming in that bisque.
Guy Has to Stand With Pig All Day With Sign
Steven H. Thompson just made an honest mistake. He saw a policeman and issued his standard greeting: gesturing obscenely and calling the officers "pigs." And because of one little misstep, now he's going to make farm animal friends with a couple of actual pigs, wearing a sign that says "These are not policemen." Hopefully it will be educational for Mr. Thompson, who might just be more confused than offensive.
Guy Yawns in Court and Gets 6 Months
The courtroom went silent as Jason Mayfield plead guilty to a felony drug charge. And then his cousin, Clifton Williams, yawned. Mayfield walked free, but Williams was sentenced to six months in prison, a drastic punishment from Judge Daniel Rozak but not an uncommon infraction for him to punish. Apparently Rozak hates interruptions more than he hates criminal activity, because in his time he's been responsible for a third of the entire contempt of court charges within his district in the last decade. With a fiery hatred of cellphones and sneezes, Rozak might just be more anal than his own ass.
High School Bully Has to Write Personal Apology Letters
Every high school has its own traditions. Some steal their rivals mascots. Others have 'Drive-Your-Tractor-to-Work' day. Or in one Montana school, they blindfold the freshmen football team, gag them, punch them in the gonads and fondle them. As if that weren't normal enough, when one particular offender was held accountable for the hazing, the judge decided that jail wasn't the right answer. Nor was correctional therapy. Instead, the hazer has to write personalized letters of apology to each of his victims. At first you might think, oh, that's a terrible miscalculation. But think about itwhat would teach a criminal right from wrong better than writing, "I'm sorry I punched your balls"? Oh, right. Just about anything.