Yes, we all saw the lame pun you tweeted at 3 a.m., but here you are telling everyone that your "opinion about leather jackets has been suede." No one is going to call you out on reusing that, but you can be sure they're also not going to laugh. It's uncomfortable for everyone and makes you look like a real hack jackass. A hackass. There's a tweet.

Speaking of "hackass," at some point it became a common, easy joke to just take two different words and smash them together in hopes that the result was sufficiently silly sounding. Can we all stop squishing and blending, or "squending," different phrases and words, or "phrords" together? It's getting really "bortrite."

I'd be willing to bet that most of the people who make fun of 50 Shades of Grey haven't read two words of it, and people eagerly jump all over the apparent stupidity of movies like Battleship. I'll grant that both these things look like stupid ideas, but if you haven't personally experienced them, what makes you think that your thoughts are any better than any other uninformed person's? If you want the right to complain about garbage, you have to smell it first.

You could make the most eloquent, well-reasoned political argument, and immediately destroy all your credibility by using a phrase like "Democraps" or "Faux News." These phrases are the rhetorical equivalent of bumper stickers.

You've listened to that one Fun album 30 times in a row. Great. Stop telling me about it.