A Poem For My Fake ID



Come sit with me, my old friend

I fear our time has come to an end.

Out of my wallet you must come

For I have turned 21.



Do not weep and do not cry

Everyone must say "'goodbye'

A great service you've done for me

And I'll always have the memories.



I recall a time not to long ago

When I fake ID I could not show

Because, you see, I did not own

This false document that made me grown.



And then one day I made haste

To visit a wonderful, sacred place;

Room 324 at the end of the hall

Can make bouncers nod and velvet ropes fall.



In this room lived a man named Pete

Who offered his services quite discreet

He took my name and my picture too

And sent me away to wait for you.



50 bucks later you came into my life

without anger or malice or greed or strife.

I put you where I could never forget it

Over my license, under my debit.



For the last two years we've had quite a ride

Going to bars and getting inside.

And when I was asked by the man at the door

I'd give you to him and stare at the floor.



"What is your info?" the bouncer would ask

And I would recite these words so fast

"I'm Michael Santino, Riverside Place

Cambellville, Michigan 91298."



And you never failed to get me into

All the bars that I have been to.

You're perfectly made with edges so sharp

A nail polish finish and letters so dark.



You're a work of art, a masterpiece

That let me drink wherever I pleased.

But I'm older now, past my 21st year

And today it's become abundantly clear.



You must move on and find a new friend.

Find a new buddy and lie for him.

I must go too, to the DMV

To get a real license that's truthful "'bout me.



But before I get there, there's something to do;

Find a freshman that's interested in you.

There's one right now! "Hey frosh, over here"

"Do you want something that can get you beer?"



I'm sorry ID, he's bought you for cheap

And into his wallet you'll soon slowly creep.

Our time is over but do not be sad

For great are the memories and the times that we had!



Goodbye, fake ID, thanks for the fun

We've had a great time, we've had a great run.

And I'll never forget the ways you helped me

My buddy, my friend, my old Fake ID.