The Finals Poem



Time for Aderol and caffeine

More bloodshot eyes you've rarely seen

The library's packed for the first time all year

Oh shit, Oh no, finals are here.



These terrible tests which you dread

Roam like devils inside your head,

Waiting for the perfect moment of the year

To ruin all your Christmas cheer.



"Why can't they be over" you ask

Knowing full well your future task.

"I cannot study anymore" you say again

while tapping a pencil against your head.



"Where's the Tylenol?" you scream aloud

"My head feels like a mushroom cloud."

"Quiet Down!" Your roommate yells after you.

"I've got bio tomorrow and english too!"



Your finals, it seems, do much more

Than test the knowledge which you store.

They test your patience, your temper and wits

While ruining all your friendships.



You bitch and moan and then give in.

You stay up late till they begin.

You study all day, you study during night

In hopes that you might get it right.



When the day is near for testing

Your mind is in need of resting.

Coffee, Ritalin, NoDoze and cocaine

Extract quite a toll on your brain.



Bleary eyed and weak kneed, you walk

To the classroom, where no one talks.

Than the rest of the class, you are much dumber

You should have just been a plumber.



"Oh well" you say and launch right in

True hell is about to begin.

But as you flip the pages, you come to see

That you didn't even have to study.



You knew this crap from the start

And it silently breaks your heart

That the hours you spent locked in the library

Could have been spent watching TV.



Once you've finished, you hand it in

At the mercy of the red pen.

Go drink as much as your body will allow.

Why the hell not? You're done for now.



Sometime soon while you sit at home

During the break, all alone

You're grades will come and you'll be happy

"I got a B" .not too shabby."*


*unless you perform poorly on your tests in which case you better start looking for a job at Wal-Mart.



Dedicated to everyone out there with books in their hands, bags under their eyes and a Ritalin-stache on their upper lip. Good Luck!