1. It's way easier to think of it as a "God Particle."
Sure, the Higgs Boson verifies a physical mechanism proposed in 1964 and in no way confirms the existence of a god or any kind of supreme being, but all that science can get really complicated and exhausting. Instead of thinking about any of that, make a facebook status letting all of your stupid atheist friends know who the king of science is now!
2. Pictures of the Higgs Boson Look Pretty Damn Cool
It kind of looks like a black hole eating the sun and exploding at the same time. Or like an album cover for some kind of jazz-heavy metal electronic fusion band, which is probably the kind of music the Higgs Boson would be into anyways.
Whatever the case, that shit would definitely make an ill desktop background.
(The Higgs Boson, the elementary particle you don't
want to fuck with.)
3. The Large Hadron Collider that the Higgs Boson was discovered in is approximately 17 miles in circumference!
Or as the scientists at CERN (European Organization for Nuclear Research) put it, that's about 179,520 hot dogs. (They use the metric system)
4. Skimming the non-technical section of the Wikipedia page does not make you an expert in elementary particle physics.
You saw some headline on reddit or the New York Times, or maybe you heard a snippet on NPR. We all want to make our friends look stupid in conversation while we're prancing around Starbucks in our berets and pencil mustaches, but I find it a little hard to believe someone can browse the Internet for a few minutes and begin to discern the physical origin of the universe. I'm looking at you, liberal arts majors.
5. The particle observed by CERN was identified to be a Higgs Boson with a certainty of only 99.99998%.
This means that the next time you see someone who you know is genuinely interested in the field of theoretical physics, you can really tear down what should be very exciting news. Make sure they know that the .00002% means the discovery is still just a theory, like evolution . . . or gravity. Let them know that their hogwash "science" and "analytical thought process" means nothing to the likes of you.