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Things Doctors Say And What They Really Mean
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- What seems to be the problem?
- What's the reason you'll be giving me $500?
- Sleep it off.
- This is the part where you try to get me to prescribe you Ambien.
- Call me in the morning.
- Call me only if you are literally about to die.
- What's your diet like?
- List the first 5 healthy foods that pop into your head.
- How much exercise do you get a week?
- This won't factor into my diagnosis at all. You just look like you need to be shamed.
- Does this hurt?
-Hahahahaha, I bet it does.
- You'll start seeing effects in a few months
- I'm pretty sure these pills don't work at all
- See me at 2.
-See me at 3:25, as long as you arrived at 2 promptly.
- Don't take more than two a day.
- Take five if you forgot to call your dealer this weekend.
- I'll need to take a closer look.
- You're leaving here feeling violated and embarrassed.
- Are you up to date on all your shots?
- Do you care in the slightest about being up to date on all your shots?
- It's just a sprain.
- Stop being such a wuss.
-Take off your pants.
-If you thought your were getting through this exam feeling like an adult, think again.
-I'm going to write you a referral to a specialist.
-This appointment was a waste of time.
-You have a $55 copay.
-Pay $55 now and spend the next three months receiving bills for things that don't make sense.
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