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Things Doctors Say And What They Really Mean
- What seems to be the problem? - What's the reason you'll be giving me $500? - Sleep it off. - This is the part where you try to get me to prescribe you Ambien. - Call me in the morning. - Call me only if you are literally about to die. - What's your diet like? - List the first 5 healthy foods that pop into your head. - How much exercise do you get a week? - This won't factor into my diagnosis at all. You just look like you need to be shamed. - Does this hurt? -Hahahahaha, I bet it does. - You'll start seeing effects in a few months - I'm pretty sure these pills don't work at all - See me at 2. -See me at 3:25, as long as you arrived at 2 promptly. - Don't take more than two a day. - Take five if you forgot to call your dealer this weekend. - I'll need to take a closer look. - You're leaving here feeling violated and embarrassed. - Are you up to date on all your shots? - Do you care in the slightest about being up to date on all your shots? - It's just a sprain. - Stop being such a wuss. -Take off your pants. -If you thought your were getting through this exam feeling like an adult, think again. -I'm going to write you a referral to a specialist. -This appointment was a waste of time. -You have a $55 copay. -Pay $55 now and spend the next three months receiving bills for things that don't make sense.