No one makes this much of an effort to keep just anyone in their life romantically, so here are 10 things I would do to get this assumed super babe of the body and soul into my arms for good.

• Get the real Ryan Adams to perform this for me.
• Pretend I said "Bryan Adams" when someone corrects me.
• Invite her to become my Mandy Moore.
• Explain that Mandy Moore is married to Ryan Adams.
• Reiterate that I said "Ryan Adams" this time.
• Admit that I might have slipped up again and said "Bryan Adams."
• Buy the shirt Emily's soon-to-be-ex is wearing in the video.
• Cut the sleeves off.
• Try to become a better person.
• Realize I'll never be a better person than this guy and set out to make more money than he does.

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Alex Watt is on Twitter, Tumblr and an ego trip.