More By
Susanna Wolff
Orientation Week Dos and Don'ts
By
Susanna Wolff
Do: Friend request your new roommate to say, “Hi!” [image: cheery Dave on Facebook] Don’t: Change your Facebook status to say, “Ugh, my new roommate is such a turd.” [image: dirtbag Rosie frowning at Facebook] Do: Arrive early so you can claim the better bed. [image: Dave waiting patiently next to an unmade bed] Don’t: Arrive late and move your roommate’s stuff to the worse bed. [image: Rosie throwing a pile of clothes as he collapses onto the bed] Do: Introduce yourself to your hallmates. [image: Dave politely shaking hands with Julie in a doorway] Don’t: Introduce yourself with a nickname you’re trying to make happen. [image: Rosie, wearing a shirt that says, “Rosie” introducing himself to an unimpressed Julie] Do: Come up with a hilarious joke to say during your floor meeting’s ice breaker game. [image: Dave, making an I’m-telling-a-joke face to a circle of unimpressed people] Don’t: Tell everyone on your floor that your roommate farts in his sleep. [image: Rosie, making everyone in the circle laugh] Do: Get acquainted with your RA. [image: Dave getting a consoling high five from the RA] Don’t: Get acquainted with your RA. [image; Rosie getting a scolding finger wag from RA] Do: Get plenty of rest. [image: Dave eating Doritos and watching Netflix in bed] Don’t: Mix liquors. [image: Rosie guzzling gin and whiskey] Do: Explore everything the student body has to offer. [image: Dave walking across a quad, waiving at some people throwing a ball] Do: Explore everything the student body has to offer. [image: Rosie hooking up with a girl in bed] Don’t: Ever hang out with your new Orientation Week friends again! [image: Dave, wearing winter clothing, pulling down a baseball cap, avoiding the waves of the ball-throwers] Don’t: Ever hang out with your new Orientation Week friends again! [image: Rosie and girl from before awkwardly avoiding eye contact in the elevator] Final image: Dave and Rosie giving thumbs up with text overlay saying, “Good luck!”
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