Missing school for a teacher's strike is EVEN BETTER than a snow day because you know your teachers are really stressed out.

— Jeff Rubin (@JeffRubinShow) September 10, 2012

Fun Internet Fact! In England, WiFi is called "Wilter Filter." In Japan it's called "Waifai," which translates roughly to "My Electric Wife"

— H. Caldwell Tanner (@caldy) September 10, 2012

Cargo pants made a lot more sense in the 90's when you had to carry around a Nokia brick phone, a discman, extra wallet chains and 200 CDs

— Streeter Seidell (@streetseidell) August 29, 2012

The worst thing about finding yourself is realizing you're not Waldo.

— Alex Watt (@AlexanderWatt) September 13, 2012

So like, it's been 8 years since it ended. When are they finally gonna tell us what F.R.I.E.N.D.S stood for?

— mah ree nah (@marinarachael) September 12, 2012

"Son of a beaver this is tough. I don't know if I agree with this, or the total extreme polar opposite of this" -undecided voters

— Dan Gurewitch (@DanGurewitch) August 31, 2012

Adulthood (n.): the ability to order a chocolate milkshake with every meal and for some reason not wanting to.

— Owen Parsons (@owenBparsons) September 7, 2012

The interview process for every office job could just be, "How are you at replying to emails all day every day?"

— Adam Conover (@adamconover) September 7, 2012

Entourage movie is a go!!! Cameos by Ryan Lochte, Emeril, Rex Ryan, Old Spice Guy, Rebecca Black, Cornel West, eTrade Baby, Cormac McCarthy

— Dan Hopper (@DanHopp) September 7, 2012

weird i woke up today and my iphone was a horrible worthless paperweight that radiated sadness

— Andrew Bridgman (@AndyBridgman) September 12, 2012

If you want to see a look of genuine terror tell someone their Spotify account wasn't set to "Private Session" when they thought it was

— Saj Pothiawala (@sajpo) September 10, 2012

Every museum is The Museum of Sex if you like to fuck pottery.

— Patrick Cassels (@patrick_cassels) September 13, 2012