Blake at the Movies: Art School Confidential

Sup, yo? Hello? Sorry, I thought this blog shit was like IM. But then I realized I can’t figure out where the away messages are. It’s Blake, bro, and I’m back to talk to you about “Art School Confidential.” I gotta say, I wasn’t too pumped to see this flick when Uncle CollegeHumor told me to go because one of my boys in high school went to art school instead of real college and it turned him into a big pussy, but I went anyway. Check my review below, bitches.



Plot: Aight, so this movie is basically about this kid, Jerome, who wants to go to art school because he gets the shitznat kicked out of him at high school and he figs that the kids at art school won’t beat him down as much. The school where he goes at is pretty shitty looking, like this community college by my house called Bearwood Tech or some shit, but he’s pumped to be there. He rooms with these two dudes: one is this super gay dude who makes clothes or something and the other is the fat guy from My Name Is Earl. That show fucking kicks, bro. Me and the brothers watch it every week cuz they’re always getting into shit and then getting out of it.

Anyways, Jerome sees this mega hot chick who ends up being a nude model for one of his classes (Titty ALERT!). He figs that the best way to lay some pipe with this chick is to be, like, the best artist at the joint so he makes this killer painting of her. But all the tards in his class are those kind of losers that think taking a dump on a Big Mac is priceless art so they don’t dig his paintings. Also, while all this is going down, there is a guy killing all these people around campus. I aint gonna ruin it for you but let’s just say that some shit goes down at the end that’s almost as crazy as when Maximus cuts off that dude’s head using two swords in Gladiator.



Blake-lights: Dude, Jerome gets a beating in the beginning of the movie that reminded me of the beatings I used to hand out to the kids that hung around the theater at my high school. That shit was funny. Again, I love the ladies, so the nude modeling scene – the one with the girl, that is – was mad hot. But, like, I’m a fan of subtle comedy too so I dug all the little ways they make fun of all the freaks and weirdos that go to art school.



Blake’s Lifting Tips: The main character is played by this real skinny kid. If I were his trainer I’d tell him to get on some creatine to build mass and maybe some protein or weight gainer to bulk up. I wouldn’t recommend any cardio, only straight lifting for two-to-three hours a day. For the fat dude from Earl, I’d tell him to forget about heavy lifting and to focus more on trimming some fat (but not too much, cuz he’s mad funny as a fat dude). Maybe a light regiment of hydroxycut mixed with a high protein diet.



Best Line: “FREEDOM!” I don’t know if they said it in this movie but when he says that shit in Braveheart I get fucking teary eyed. It’s not gay either cuz that, like, a seriously intense scene.



Blake, should I see it?: Def. Aside from the naked bitches and the making fun of art fags, this movie is has that fat dude from Earl. I love that show. I saw this one where they live in, like, a WalMart for a day or something. Funny shit, funny shit.



Holla Back young’un, hit me up at MovieBlake@Gmail.com. Pce, yo.