Mitt Romney's concession speech was an eloquent example of a defeated politician holding their head up high. But it only drove America's funniest Twitter users to imagine more and more bizarre goings-on behind closed doors:

Silent tears drip all the way down Paul Ryan's quads and lats. Mitt stares listlessly at a LAND'S END catalogue. Ann pets the horses.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 7, 2012

CNN projects that Mitt Romney is crying in a steam bath.

— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) November 7, 2012

Mitt Romney decides against conceding to Obama and instead collapses into his original form: A pile of 100 dollar bills & 1 can of caviar.

— ☞ Ｄ．Ｅ． ＢＥＬＴＯＮ ☜ (@ToxicToothpick) November 7, 2012

Mitt hands Ann her coat. it jumps from their hands, scurries into the woods. all you can do is pray.

— Alison Forns (@alisonforns) November 9, 2012

"Hey, you guys, you know what? Why don't I just buy the White House? That's an option, right?"

— John Moe (@johnmoe) November 7, 2012

A despondent Mitt Romney stands alone in the moonlight, skipping diamonds on a lake of other diamonds.

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) November 7, 2012

Somewhere, a shirtless @mittromney rides Rafalca through a field of wildflowers, beholden to no man, president of all he surveys

— moe is their leader (@chuchugoogoo) November 7, 2012

"THIS CAVIAR TASTES LIKE ASHES." -Mitt Romney, tonight in his yacht made of diamonds.

— John Gholson (@gholson) November 7, 2012

Mitt Romney. Doomed to wander the earth, with begging bowl and loin cloth.

— Peter W. Kaplan (@real_kaplan) November 9, 2012

Anna Wintour sits in her Lion's Den, thumbing through her iPhone and ignoring Ann Romney's 27th call.

— Jonathan Bender (@jonathan_bender) November 7, 2012

Now Ryan can continue the photo shoot for his workout calendar. For November he's doing lunges while wearing frozen turkeys on his fists.

— Paula Pell (@perlapell) November 7, 2012

"YOU WIN THIIS TIME, PEOPLE OF EARTH, BUT I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME! NEXT TIIIIME!" Romney's head splits open and a tiny spaceship flies away.

— Jhonen Vasquez (@JhonenV) November 7, 2012

Breaking News:Mitt Romney just hit Joe Biden with a steel chair and challenged Obama to a rematch at the next Wrestlemania!!!

— Philip DeFranco (@PhillyD) November 7, 2012

I had…the STRANGEST dream….wakes up next to Ann Romney's horse

— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) November 7, 2012

Mitt Romney reclines in a bath of warm babies' tears, with a glass of puppy blood. "Next time they'll fall for it" he chuckles, "Next time".

— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) November 7, 2012

Romney, with a 3-day beard in a rumpled Waldorf-Astoria robe: ˝Get me one of those 'coffees'.˝ ˝But, señor,˝ ˝DAMMIT, Maria, just do it!˝

— Peter Waldron (@pjwaldron) November 9, 2012