God Blog III

Current Mood: Bored
Listening To: You masturbating, crying

UGH, I’m SO sick of winter. Don’t get me wrong, I love shutting down elementary schools and increasing road fatalities by a third. Honestly, I do. But then it’s like everyone starts to bitch about it. Do you think I like having winter? It’s terrible. My army of class-C Seraphims has to work overtime making snow, and they don’t have enough time to put together a new musical every night. It’s f*cking awful. Anyway…what else…

Oh man, the BEST thing happened yesterday at the Fountain of Dreams and Desire. I hadn’t been there in a while so I was like, “What the hell, might as well answer wishes today” right? So I go down and I see Gabriel there with Thomas, Peter, John, you know – all those guys. I go over to say hi And somehow we get to talking about movies and Edward the Confessor is like, “I really liked ‘A Beautiful Mind.’” And everyone agrees except Gabriel. He’s like, “Eh, I don’t really like Russell Crowe, that’s all.” So I start asking him other reasons he didn’t like it. I’m all, “Well, were there any parts in it you liked?” and he goes, “I dunno, not really.” So I go, “What was the worst part?” and again he’s like, “I dunno.” Then he tries to change the subject and is all, “How come God (me) takes childrens’ lives?” but he wasn’t getting off that easy. Eventually, I got him to admit he never saw the movie and was lying. What a dick.

Doesn’t it suck when you’re really excited for something and then it turns out to be kind of lame. Like, I was really happy with the way Native Americans turned out when I designed them. The Aborigines, not so much. Don’t get me wrong, I love them as much as I love every race (infinitely – you wouldn’t comprehend) but those Aborigines were just a bit of a disappointment. That reminds me, people always think I either love something or hate something. That’s not true. Some things I’m just ‘eh’ on. For example, Mountain Dew.

Gabriel got a haircut the other day and he’s walking around like he just cured cancer. Funny that I was the one who created the cure for cancer. I haven’t impregnated anyone with the knowledge yet because, let’s face it, you guys aren’t ready for that. I’ll give you a hint though: shrimp blood. That’s all I’m saying.

Random Thoughts:

-I was headed to the bathroom the other day and I needed something to read so I grabbed the Far Side Gallery 3. Seriously, I forgot how funny those are. I’m really bummed Gary Larson isn’t drawing them anymore. I really like the ones he does of me and heaven because that’s JUST WHAT IT’S LIKE UP HERE!

-Everyone’s all over Panic! At The Disco’s balls talking about how great they are. Don’t get me wrong, they’re good but I feel like I’m too old to get into them.

-Will someone just tell me if low carb is better than low fat? Everyday they say something different.

-I created a new disease!! It’s a funny one, too. I’m still working out the kinks, but it involves funny things happening to your veins, and the only symptoms are in your stool. Keep an eye out for it… literally!

-Most underrated movie ever: “Trains, Planes and Automobiles.”

-Just got around to watching the British version of The Office. Wow. I mean, I like the American one, but the British one makes it look like According to Jim. It’s so subtle, ya know. That’s why it’s funny!

Peace in the Middle East? Let me think abou…NOPE! Haha, gotcha!