PLOTLINE 3: Totally Normal Governor Man

We were briefly introduced to Michonne in the Season 2 finale, prompting all of my friends who're caught up on the comic to be like "oohhhh man!" and me to be like "uh, sorry, I don't have time to read comics, I'm too busy watching tv shows based on comics and also making stupid cartoony Photoshops based on that tv show and I'll just be quiet now carry on." At the start of Season 3, Michonne is caring for Andrea, who's been estranged from the group and thus now forced to make bafflingly stupid decisions all on her own.

After weeks of resting and recovering, Andrea is convinced by Michonne that it's time to move on, and as fate would have it, they stumble upon a wonderful oasis in the form of a military helicopter crashing and several soldiers being wounded in the process:

A separate group of strangers arrives to examine the crash site, and Michonne and Andrea attempt to hide, with Michonne even decapitating her handy helper-walkers, but they're still apprehended by none other than Merle Dixon, sporting a new metal hand loosely modeled after that of Fisto from the Masters Of The Universe.

Merle brings Michonne and Andrea to a sealed-off town-ish area called Woodbury, where a man known only as "The Governor" explains how the town works and tells them that they're free to have their weapons back and leave at any moment. Andrea is intrigued, but Michonne remains skeptical, and acts needlessly confrontational towards everything The Governor does:

Michonne's skepticism is later somewhat justified when we witness The Governor track down the army base where the helicopter came from, ambush the camp with Merle and his cohorts, kill everyone, then kill the surviving helicopter soldier, then return home to sit by a giant wall of heads in fish tanks:

As time draws on, Michonne keeps trying to get herself thrown out of Woodbury, while Andrea grows more at ease with her surroundings [WINK!] especially The Governor [WINK!] 's penis [WINKWINKWINK!]

Eventually, Michonne grows convinced that The Governor won't actually let them leave and implores Andrea to come with her, but Michonne departs alone, leaving Andrea to stay in Woodbury and celebrate with a "special treat" from The Governor: A weird gladitorial-style fistfight in a ring full of chained-up walkers:

The Governor explains to the startled Andrea that it's all staged and just a way of "blowing off steam," and she's like "works for me" and soon enough they're doin' some basic cable fuuuuuckin' ("ohhh yeahh, baby, hold the sheet exactly right there over anything compromising, yeah that's it…")

Michonne, meanwhile, is off in the woods alone, moping like a pro: