The 10 People You See At Every Midnight Movie Screening

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People You See at a Midnight Movie Screening Overexcited Child and their Patient Parent Image: Stressed out-looking mom reading a magazine while a nerdy kid dressed as a hobbit annoys her. Kid: Can you believe they’re making this series into THREE MOVIES? How cool is that?!? Parent: Very cool, hon Overexcited Parent and their Patient Child Image: Dorky Dad wearing a One Ring shirt and talking excitedly to the bored Mom. He holds his visibly-sleepy young child’s hand. Dad: I’m just so excited I get to share this epic journey with little Elrond here. Self-Righteous Movie Blogger Image: Smug girl on a netbook. Blogger: If you can’t be bothered to read my 10-page review, then you don’t deserve to know my opinions. Guy Who Thinks the Book is Better Image: Nerdy dude holding a book and talking to Guy Who Doesn’t Know it’s Based on a Book. Nerdy Book Guy: I swear to the Valar, if they leave out even ONE Dwarfsong I will be FURIOUS. *Weird Dude Just Sitting By Himself in the Corner and Really Creeping Up the Joint Image: Gollum-looking dude looking up from his PSP. Creeper: …... Loyal Significant Other Image: Movie Blogger’s Boyfriend, she talks enthusiastically with him. Blogger: Can you believe they’re making this series into THREE MOVIES? How lame is that?!? Boyfriend: Super lame, hon. Costumed Fan Image: Girl dressed as Legolas Legirlass: I like to think of Midnight screenings as just a super-expensive Halloween Party. Costumed Fanatic Image: Older creeper dressed as Gandalf, he approaches Legirlass Creeper: I'd sure like to show you my elvish tongue, mind if I...speak ‘friend’ and enter? Legirlass: Ah, oh what? No, please. Just.... No. *Confused Hobo Image: Gross looking hobo that resembles Radagast the Brown. He is talking with the Over-excited Hobbit kid. Kid: Are you a wizard? Hobo: YESSIR I GOT MAGICK BONES, GIMME A NICKEL AND I’LL PROVE IT. *Herd of Loitering Teens that aren’t Even Going to this Movie Image: Several hooded teens that resemble Ring Wraiths. Teens: We’re only here because the Wendy’s is CLOSED. Guy Who Drank Like Five Cups of Coffee to Stay Awake and is Now Regretting It Image: Guy in theater gripping his seat. Sweat rolls down his face. He checks his watch. Guy: OH GOD, THERE’S STILL TWO HOURS LEFT. Guy who Hasn’t gone to a Midnight Release since High School Image: Late twenty-something guy asleep in the theater. Guy: ZZZZ

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