15 Things You Don't Want Your New Roommate to Say

15 Things You Dont Want Your New Roommate to Say - Image 1

1. So, which bed should we sleep in?
2. You're a heavy sleeper, right?
3. Damn! This dorm is even smaller than my cell.
4. This is Alfred, my python.
5. I am legally obligated to tell you that I am a…
6. Where should I keep my cross bow?
7. I'm an only child.
8. Man, this closet is definitely big enough to fit a body.
9. Dibs on the fridge.
10. How thick are these walls?
11. I need a lot of space.
12. Don't touch this sock. Or this bottle of lotion…
13. You don't plan on spending much time in here, do you?
14. Did you bring a nightlight? I'm afraid of the dark.
15. Mommy!