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How to Snag all the Snow Bunnies on the Slopes
From the author of “How to Get All the Bitches” "How to Snag all the Snow Bunnies on the Ski Slopes" A Player’s Guide by Professor Romeo von Sexhaver 1. Gettin’ Your Gear Shifted (Green Circle) -Realize it’s time to carve some powder. -Image: Guy looking into closet. -Put yourself in some thermal threads. -Image: Guy putting on thermals. -Get covered in a swagvalanche of dope duds. -Image: Guy putting on ridiculous snow suit. -Goggle your oglers. -Image: Guy putting on ridiculous snow goggles. -Helmet your thought pit. -Image: Guy putting on ridiculous helmet. -Take it all off so you can go rid some ‘quid. -Image: Guy peeing. All his clothes are scattered around the bathroom. 2. Go 2 da Snow (Blue Square) -Get made with some sharp blades image: guy trying to put on a pair of skis and almost losing his balance. - Strut Your Stuff image: guy awkwardly walking to the ski-lift while children laugh at him. He makes a path of diagonal ski tracks as he walks. - Trap a bunny in the hot seat Image: guy trying to sit down next to a girl on the ski lift, but getting a ski stuck. - Show her that you like to get lifted Image: guy falling off the ski lift. 3. Aww Ski-Ski or Snowboard (Black Diamond) -Toke up on that mean green. -Image: Guy smoking weed at the top of a slope labeled “Baby Bunny Slope” -Say ‘halo’ to your snow angel friend. -Image: A ski patrol lady yelling at the guy. He looks startled. -Beg for a SnowJob -Image: Guy hiding joint and nervously making excuses to ski patrol girl. - Start 2 Flee so she’ll crave da ‘D. -Image: Close-up of guy’s face as he zooms away. - Ride ‘dat Good Feeling -Image: Reveal guy is on back of a snowmobile. He is handcuffed and looks pumped to be riding with the Snow Patrol Girl 4. Warmin’ on Up (Double Black Diamond) -Get a fire rip roarin’. -Image: Guy making fire even bigger with lighter fluid (everyone seated near it looks angry). -Call chumps out if they’re borin’. -Image: Guy butting into conversation between cool, buff skier and a babe. -Come closer to scorin’. -Image: buff dude is just slapping his arm away as he tries to wrap it around the girl here. 5. Lodgin’ the Lodge with Ladies (Triple Black Diamond) -Brag about your time in the powder. -Image: Guy talking to babes about how good he boarded that day (maybe we can draw it in a speech bubble). -Brag about holdin’ some powder. -Image: Guy talking to babes about having cocaine, people crowd around. -Offer chill babes a taste of your chowder. -Image: Guy getting dragged out of the lodge and beaten up by the snow patrol lady again. 6. Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow. (Red Broken Heart) -It’s all uphill from here. -Image: Guy crying in bed, blowing his nose. Nex to him is a picture of the snow patrol lady.