The hardest part of losing my sister was scraping her decal off of the rear window of my minivan.

— Alex Watt (@AlexanderWatt) January 10, 2013

Bruce Wayne's World! Bruce Wayne's World! Sorrow Time! Angstiness!

— Pube Goldberg (@AndyBridgman) January 10, 2013

Seeing Snoopy pretend to be a WWI flying ace is cute but in all seriousness there were extremely high casualties among dog pilots back then.

— Owen Parsons (@owenBparsons) January 10, 2013

Hansel And Gretel just massacre the witch 5 minutes into the film and the rest is them eating CGI'd strudel to "We Are Young" by Fun

— Dan Hopper (@DanHopp) January 7, 2013

The Wii U looks like something you find buried under tangled Nintendo controllers in your parents' garage. twitter.com/joshruben/stat…

— josh ruben (@joshruben) January 9, 2013

Somewhere in the vast desert of DeviantArt, a teen is absolutely CONVINCED that Hollywood stole their idea for a gritty Hansel & Gretel film

— H. Caldwell Tanner (@caldy) January 6, 2013

Reggae just sounds like a normal band warming up.

— Patrick Cassels (@patrick_cassels) December 19, 2012

"Once again, 'not having beautifully symmetrical poops' isn't something I can treat." -Wes Anderson's doctor

— Wiseguy Pictures (@WiseguyPictures) January 5, 2013

I'd gladly sacrifice, I dunno, everything in my life to not have to get out from under these warm blankets for the next 3 months.

— Kevin Corrigan (@kevincorrigan) January 7, 2013

Frank Sinatra sings like he thinks singing is for queers.

— Adam Conover(@adamconover) January 5, 2013

"It's pretty great if you get high first." – Review of every movie, videogame, and album ever released.

— Jeff Rubin (@JeffRubinShow) January 8, 2013

My mom says "nobody talks anymore, everyone just stares at their phone." That's because my phone is better than my friends, mom.

— Streeter Seidell (@streetseidell) January 7, 2013