I barely noticed her as she walked into the room, being completely engrossed in working on my car. She was nude, coated in a thin layer of weight gain powder as she called my name. I, of course, did not remember hers (all women are whores). I put down the wrench and stopped working on my Mustang (1-60 in 4 seconds, yeah, not a big deal) as I looked towards her. “Now THAT’S what I’M TALKING ABOUT!” I yelled as I took off my slightly tilted hat and put down my natty.
Like this Article
URL
Close



+
-
Bathroom Catastrophe
Every Superhero Origin Story Ever
The Ten Internet Plagues
Instagram Filters for Facebook
News Feed History of the World: February 2012
25 Things You Hate Yourself for Saying
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
My all-dental dam band will never be this good.
All these Twitter accounts are run by Odie.
You will be more frightened while watching this video than anyone in it.
Good luck, detention monitor.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?