The bombshell report that Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o's dead girlfriend turns out to be a hoax has sent the Twitter universe afoot with, first, utter disbelief, and next, jokes. The sheer balls that are behind this story almost make any joke pale in comparison to the facts themselves. Almost.

I had a fake girlfriend like Manti T'e'o in college, but at least I had the decency to use the picture that came with my wallet.

— Uncle Dynamite(@UncleDynamite) January 16, 2013

I feel you manti I told my friends I smooched a girl at camp in 4th grade and felt her boob but the girl was oreos and her boob was my penis

— Jeffrey Hadz (@Hadzilla) January 16, 2013

My grandfather, who never missed a single Notre Dame home game, would be absolutely heartbroken if he found out about Manti Te'o or existed.

— Alex Watt (@AlexanderWatt) January 16, 2013

Manti Te'o makes Lance Armstrong seem like a pretty swell guy.

— Rob Huebel (@robhuebel) January 16, 2013

Remember when Manti Te'o's girlfriend won the Tour de France?

— Mike Rutherford (@CardChronicle) January 16, 2013

Direct Message to Manti Te'o: What kind of lowlife would invent a fake persona on the Internet?

— Fake Dan Beebe (@DanBeebe) January 16, 2013

What if Manti Te'o didn't really exist this whole time?

— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) January 16, 2013

Manti Te'o, huge, 'uuuuuuuuuuuuuuge fan of Weekend At Bernie's.

— The Sports Hernia (@TheSportsHernia) January 16, 2013

Simple solution for Manti Te'o is to schedule a hard-hitting interview with Ellen and answer all the tough questions

— Fake SportsCenter (@FakeSportsCentr) January 16, 2013

In Mantei Te'o's defense, some of the best sex I've ever had have been with imaginary girlfriends.

— RandyBaumann WDVE (@DVERandy) January 16, 2013

Even though she never existed, Brent Musberger is horny for Manti Te'o dead girlfriend.

— Chris Regan (@ChrisRRegan) January 16, 2013

SVU scrambling to write an episode about a hoax at a Catholic University that leaves star player dead, 8 girls missing, 3 senators vampires

— Dan Hopper (@DanHopp) January 16, 2013

Manti Te'o majored in creative writing at Notre Dame.

— Keating Thomas (@keatingthomas) January 16, 2013

Can't wait to see the NFL Draft: "Manti Te'o Positives: Great motor, speed. Negatives: Invents fake people"

— J. Doug Hatings (@basquiatball) January 16, 2013