Your Birthday: Then and Now

by Hallie Cantor and Caldwell Tanner on January 25, 2013

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Your Birthday: Then and Now

By

Hallie Cantor & Caldwell Tanner

KID YOU bounces on bed, excitedly saying “I’m so old!”
ADULT YOU stares into bathroom mirror, sadly saying “I’m so old.”
 
KID YOU eats special birthday pancakes while your parents kiss you on the head.
ADULT YOU checks phone while eating cereal and sees “31 people have written on your wall.”
 
KID YOU hurries to unwrap a giant present with a bow.
ADULT YOU holds a check for $10 and writes “Aunt Karen” on a list of thank-you notes to write.

A classroom full of kids sings Happy Birthday to KID YOU.
At work, ADULT YOU is having a normal boring day in a cubicle. No one knows it’s your birthday.
 
KID YOU blows out the candles on a cake, thinking of a Gameboy.
ADULT YOU blows on coffee and eats a bran muffin in the break room, thinking of an iPhone 5.
 
KID YOU shovels cake in your mouth as someone says “The birthday girl goes first!”
ADULT YOU downs a shot while holding another as someone says “The birthday girl goes first!”
 
KID YOU enjoys pin the tail on the donkey with a bouncy castle in the background, and sugar-high kids running everywhere.
ADULT YOU is running around your party anxiously asking guests “Need a drink?” “Do you guys know each other?” “You okay?”
 
The next day, your mom gives KID YOU Pepto-Bismol for your stomachache while you play with your new Gameboy.
The next day, ADULT YOU takes Advil for your hangover while playing on the same old Gameboy. Your phone is also missing.

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