1. George Washington
2. Abraham Lincoln
3. Thomas Jefferson
4. John Adams
T-5. Theodore Roosevelt
T-5. Franklin D. Roosevelt
7. John F. Kennedy
8. Dwight Eisenhower
9. Harry Truman
10. Andrew Jackson
11. James Madison
12. Woodrow Wilson
13. James Monroe
14. Bill Clinton
15. John Quincy Adams
16. Ronald Reagan
17. James K. Polk
18. Lyndon Johnson
19. Barack Obama
20. Martin Van Buren
21. George H.W. Bush
22. Gerald Ford
23. Herbert Hoover
24. Jimmy Carter
25. William H. Taft
26. Rutherford B. Hayes
27. Grover Cleveland
28. Martin Van Buren
29. Chester A. Arthur
30. James A. Garfield
31. Calvin Coolidge
32. Richard Nixon
33. William McKinley
34. Zachary Taylor
35. John Tyler
36. Benjamin Harrison
37. William Henry Harrison
38. George W. Bush
39. Millard Fillmore
40. Franklin Pierce
41. Ulysses S. Grant
42. Andrew Johnson
43. James Buchanan
44. Warren Harding
46. You guys, I promised my editors a list of 77 of these for a wacky, themed President's Day list. Do you KNOW what happens if I can't fulfill my Internet List Quota?? THEY'LL BREAK MY THUMBS THEN TURN THE VIDEO OF THEM BREAKING MY THUMBS INTO A GIF AND POST THAT GIF WITH NO LINKBACK CREDIT TO ME!!! And that's for a FIRST offense.
47. OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD WHAT WAS I THINKING??? God Dammit Hopper SEVENTY-SEVEN PRESIDENTS??? You fucking moron. You could've just done 20 or even, oh I don't know, FORTY-FOUR, how about that number? But no, had to be "better" than the other 9 trillion other Presidential-Ranking lists on the internet and now you've federally fucked yourself.
48. Alright, alright, don't panic. I'm sure I can pad this list with some more presidents and/or random shit from the 90s.
49. Harrison Ford from Air Force One. YEAH! Fictional but that fuckin' counts, here we go.
50. President Skroob from Spaceballs. BOOM! 50.
51. Mr. Spacely from The Jetsons. Was he a President? Close enough NEXT.
52. Santa Claus. He's basically president of the North Pole. Judges? DING Counts AWESOME moving on.
53. WAIT did I leave off George Washington? YES! "George Washington". FREEBIE!!! Actually hang on, let me Control-F that Ahhh shit, no, he's already on the list, never mind.
54. President I don't know Dennis Quaid from The Day After Tomorrow. Actually, wait, he wasn't president in that, he was some "toldja so" science dude. This sucks.
59. Maybe if I skip over some numbers no one will notice.
60. All right, eyes on the prize, Hoppy, we're almost through this thing.
61. Abraham Lincoln from Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure. Whew, that one was a gimme.
62. Lincoln from Lincoln.
63. Lincoln from the movie Gettysburg.
64. Lincoln Logs.
65. STILL ONLY ON #65? This is a goddamn disaster.
66. Lincoln from Bart Simpson's "Huckleberry Finn" fantasy in the "Boy Who Knew Too Much" episode of The Simpsons. That's pretty specific but not worse than 'Lincoln Logs' so welcome to That Counts City!
67. Franklin Pierce again. Fuck it.
68. Ohhhhhhhh my godddddddd, 77 things is SO MANY THINGS. You never really stop and think about how big a number 77 is, huh? If someone was like, "Hey Dan, wanna eat these 77 cheeseburgers?" I'd be like "no, that's obviously an insane number of cheeseburgers!" but with an internet list I'm like "DOPEEDOOO, 77, SURE, I'M STOOPID FARRTTT"
69. Whatever, when in doubt on the internet, just mention 90s shit. PRESIDENT BUTTNICK FROM SALUTE YOUR SHORTS
70. PRESIDENT DUNKAROOS.
71. PRESIDENT REMEMBER STARTER JACKETS?
72. Bill Clinton saying "I feel your pain!"
73. Home stretch!!! C'mon, can definitely think of five more. OH! The guys from My Fellow Americans. SHIT! I should've made that two separate numbers. It's not too late to do that now, right?
74. The other guy from My Fellow Americans
75. Donatello. Was he President at some point? I'll Photoshop something:
76. Oh! I really should've saved like, George W. Bush for the very end so I could be like BOOM! Punchline! Bush is worse than all these fake things! Then we'd all high five. But that can't happen now. Unless people forgot that I put him on the list already because they read that part like forty-six hours ago and I could just sneak him on here again. Let's see if anyone gives a shit.
77. George W. Bush!!!! HIGH FIVES GUYS!!!!!!! Please RT
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