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What You're Saying With Your Underwear
By
Susanna Wolff and Caldwell Tanner
What You're Saying With Your Underwear Thong “I have a wedgie.” Lace Thong “I have a sexy wedgie.” Boxers “I’m actively trying to say nothing with my underwear” Novelty Boxers “My mom bought these.” Boxer Briefs “My girlfriend bought these.” Designer Briefs (lightning bolt over fly) “My boyfriend bought these.” The kind with the garter attachment things “I want to make all your dreams come true tonight.” High-waisted briefs “I want to watch all of House of Cards tonight.” Tighty-Whities “I’m either too young to know better, or too old to care” Inside-out underwear “I need to do laundry.” (faint reverse of novelty boxers) Bathing suit “I really need to do laundry.” Jockstrap “I need to hold my junk in place.” Spanx “I need to hold my junk in place.” No underwear (girl) “I’m hot.” No underwear (guy) “It’s hot.”
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