The Graphic Truth / The Longer St. Patrick's Day Goes On

by Hallie Cantor on March 15, 2013

The Longer St Patricks Day Goes On - Image 1

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The Longer St. Patrick's Day Goes On

By

Hallie Cantor

Alcohol in your bloodstream: steadily increases
Money in your wallet: steadily decreases
Potatoes in your stomach: increases, then suddenly decreases into pool of vomit
How proud the real St. Patrick would be of you: goes up, then eventually down (bell curve)
Snakes banished: steady at 0, looks like a snake on the ground
Little people mistaken for leprechauns: goes up to one midway through the night
Times you use “im irish” as an excuse: increases one by one until it turns into a shamrock at the top
Accuracy of Irish accent: starts kind of low and gets negative

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