The Morning After The Hills - With friends like these...

After the last few episodes of nothing really happening, it was about time for some shit to hit the fan, and that’s what happened this week as Lauren’s best friend Jen makes her final push to replace Whitney as a featured character on the show.

The whole episode revolves around Jen’s 21st birthday (omfg!), but the drama starts early, as Heidi and Jen go shopping and figure out a way to setup Brody, Lauren’s crush and most recent hookup, with Jen.

Two quick Jen related notes: 1) doesn’t Jen look very much like a poor man’s pre-nosejob Ashlee Simpson? I could definitely see Jen singing pop-punk songs about dating Ryan Cabrera and her more famous sister, 2) if you’re wondering what Spencer keeps calling her, it’s “Bunney,” as in her last name, as in all you need to know to Google her myspace or find her Facebook, or to find the Facebook invitation to her birthday party (Jen’s 21st. Yay!). So that’s that!

Throughout the show, one of the most glaringly obvious trends was the resurgence amongst douchebags (and their girlfriends) in LA using the word “mack.” Spencer says it when he’s advising Brody (more on this later) to, “totally mack Jen, get in the backdoor,” and Heidi then confirms to Jen that Brody would totally “mack her, A.S.A.P.” So, if you’ve always wanted to sound like a dickhead, but never thought you could quite get the hang of it, now you know what to do!

Before Jen’s AWESOME party (yay!) at Les Deux, the girls go out to dinner at their MTV co-worker Ashton Kutcher’s restaurant, Geisha House. It’s at this very dinner where Lauren really shows the difference between friends and BEST friends (her words not mine) by giving Jen a diamond encrusted necklace. Jen is obviously very grateful, as she then goes on to go to ditch Lauren at the party to go to Brody’s condo where, more than likely, macking ensued, possibly through the backdoor.

Heidi really steps up her “I’m a heinous bitch” game by pushing a hesitant Jen right into Brody’s lap and then later on denying that she had anything to do with the two of them hooking up. This results in the big fight between the two main characters and is really really awkward and uncomfortable; the show closes with Heidi and Lauren fighting about how awful a person Spencer is, with Heidi defending her man/manager to the death.

You know it’s a weird show when “Epic intern Chiara” (wait, who?) and Audrina are the voices of reason.

Lastly, in case there was ever any doubt that Spencer is the worst person ever alive, here’s what he told Brody Jenner to do in regards to Nicole Richie:

“Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you’re gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that sh—, bro. You’ll be, like, a f—-ing hero to America.”

Seriously bro, process that shit